Monday, July 30, 2012

Nesting...

I know every time that I'm pregnant it is inevitable, the nesting... But I never imagined how insane I could possibly get with this last one. My poor husband. I have so many more projects in my head and only have the ability to do about 20% of them myself. I've cleaned and organized nearly every inch of this house and as I do I keep adding to the "honey do" list. It's not like any of the projects I have can't get done AFTER the baby is born, but it's that insane overwhelming need to get it all done NOW. Why does that happen? It's not like life stops after you have a baby. It's quite insane really. I know you're down for the count for a little while, and you're sleep deprived, and your house never gets clean and you don't have the ability to do much other than stare at the new little life you created... Oh wait, I just answered my own question.

It's been a long pregnancy, but I honestly haven't felt like I'm really pregnant. Let me explain. I have felt more like a chronically ill, obese, miserable person that has the inability to bend over, get up off of the floor, or hold my bladder for more than 30 minutes at a time. My back hurts all the time and so does my crotch. Sorry for the vulgarity, but it's true. I still don't feel like this misery will end in a baby in my arms. Perhaps this is God's way of telling me that I really am done. I know we decided that this is our last baby and I've tried so desperately to appreciate the pregnancy because of it, but the opposite has happened. It's made me realize that I would rather not physically or emotionally go through another pregnancy. Obviously, if God has other plans, then I can't stop them and will gladly accept whatever miracle he gives me. BUT it's been a rough road. I guess I just can't wait to meet this new little man of mine and know in my heart that our family is complete.

Disclaimer: Please don't take this post the wrong way. I am SO VERY GRATEFUL for being pregnant and being blessed with the ability to create life. I can see this post being misconstrued. I will reiterate: I am so very blessed. And despite all of the pain and emotional turmoil, I would absolutely NEVER trade any of it in because it means I will get to hold this beautiful baby in my arms in the end.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Slurpee Baby is TWO!

I can't believe it's been two years since we've met our little Lucy. She came into this world so easily. One push and she was out. She didn't look like anyone other than herself with that full head of dark brown hair. She was so smelly from the leftover vernix that I could hardly think of much else, other than, when does she get her first bath? She's been a little stinker ever since.

I can't complain though, she's a perfect little recreation of me in nearly every way but one... She snores... Just like her daddy. She wants what she wants when she wants it and it's always now.

I can relate.

And I wouldn't want her any other way. She thinks she's a 6 year old and doesn't like Tatum telling her what to do but has no problem asking Spencer for help, which makes perfect sense right?

She will never give you a kiss or hug when you ask her to, but when she does give them, it's on her own terms, when you least expect it, and it is the sweetest most honest love you'll ever receive.

I am so grateful for my little Lulu Bean and couldn't see our little family functioning without her. I cannot wait to see what a great big sister she is going to be. I have a feeling she is going to really come into her own and step up to the challenge. Now I have to go give her hugs & kisses while I she will let me... She's sleeping.