Tuesday, September 30, 2014

In My Defense...

I posted something on Facebook earlier today that might've ruffled some feathers. Heck, if I read it I would've gotten a little irritated. Generally speaking when people post about how they lost weight or went to the gym or went on a run or whatever, I'm like, dude get over yourself, I don't care. We all know you're amazing and wonderful. So here's the reasoning behind my post, so no one thinks I'm an A-hole.

This is what I posted earlier today:

My doctor just told my not to lose anymore weight. My life is complete. I can die happy now.

In my defense... 

1. My nickname growing up was Bubba. Other names I remember being called were Lard Ass, Fatty, & Brutus, even though I can now look back at pictures and I don't see a fat girl in a single one of them. 
2. I am most definitely NOT that girl who doesn't have to do anything, can still eat cheeseburgers and cake and look like I do. I hate those girls too.
3. When I was 16 I was told by my basketball coach, "I think you're going to have a growth spirt soon. When girls chunk up like you, they tend to grow soon after." This was AFTER my orthodontist had x-rayed my wrists when I was 14 to see that all of my growth plates had already fused together and I was indeed DONE growing.
4. I went through a phase in college where I would work out 3 hours a day only to see the number on the scale increase.
5. I also went through a phase in college called bulimia. 
6. I lost all of my baby weight by 4 months postpartum not because I starved myself or because I breast fed, but because I got up and I ran and I lifted weights and ran some more. And when I hurt, and I was tired from being up all night with the baby the night before, I did it again the next day because my post baby body reminded me of how those words cut deeper than anyone knew.

So... I really hope that when you read my post, that you consider all of this. I am not trying to brag or make anyone feel bad about themselves. I am not trying to insinuate that attaining a number on a scale is going to complete a persons life. I am merely stating that my life has been rough one when it comes to body image. And it's fascinating how a simple sentence from a physician can make not just my day, but make up for a lot of heartache in my life. And I know the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, I shake it off, I shake it off.