Saturday, April 20, 2013

The Quiet

The kids are all still sleeping after their 15 hour day of traveling. Tony's in the shower and I'm fully dressed and ready to rock sitting on the only comfortable thing in the house... The stairs. When I awoke this morning at 9am, 7am Oregon time, it was quiet and all I could feel was the pain of my pounding headache. After I stumbled down the stairs and took a bite of one of the last granola bars from our trek across the country, I started to peer out the blinds through the windows. I realize I probably looked uber creepy to any passers by but I didn't care. I felt like a zoo animal taking in its new environment for the first time after being caught from the wild. Cautious... So this is Arkansas...

Flat, not a lot of trees and quiet.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Traveling with Tots

Well I'm sitting here on the "hair plane," as Lucy calls it, and I'm realizing in my attempt to keep the kids entertained on our flight, I completely spaced bringing anything to keep me from getting bored. Lu & Tate are watching "Wreck it Ralph" on my laptop, Spencer is playing his DS, and Declan is asleep on my lap. So here I am, alone with my thoughts.

I now realize why we have never gone on vacation with all 6 of us. It took us forever to check 3 bags, bag and check 4 carseats and then get to security. Fortunately, since we are a large brood, we were able to bypass standing in the security line and head to the front. But oh my goodness... That was fun. We had 3 backpacks, a purse, a computer bag, a carryon, a ginormous stroller, and a 2 year old who refused to relinquish her sippy to the X-ray machine.

After taking the ten minutes it took to get everyone put back together, we headed towards our gate. I needed my venti iced caramel macchiato and made a beeline for Starbucks with my gift cards my fabulous friends bestowed upon me. The wait was a little long and I had to hustle it back to our gate as we were starting to board.

It's been a pretty uneventful trip thusfar but then again, this is only the first leg of the trip. After having to get the engines jumped on the Tarmac before taking off, we were delayed a bit. Praying we still make our connecting flight in Chicago. I would really rather not have to run through the airport with 4 small children.

Still hasn't completely set in that this is a one way flight. Lucy asked to go home again. Hurts a little less each time. I told her we were going to our new home to which she replied, "I want a gator house." She cracks me up.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

The Big Ugly

You ever get that feeling that you really need to cry but you're afraid that if you fully give into the cry that you'll never stop? Don't get me wrong, I've cried... A lot this last week. But every time that huge lump wells up in my throat I stop myself. I know this is supposed to be an adventure that we are on but the adventure part seems to escape me at the moment.

All I can think about is : The Stress... Getting 4 kids up and ready at 6:45am, getting all of them through security at the airport, making sure no one goes number 1 or 2 in their undies on the plane, feeding them, making our connecting flight, etc. I've only ever flown 4 times, which brings me to...

The Unknown: I've never even been to Arkansas. What if I hate it? What if I'm miserable? What if our stuff doesn't fit in our house? Even worse, what if my kids don't make friends? Tatum's birthday is in 2 weeks and it will be her first without family or friends to help celebrate. I'm afraid that she will be sad and it breaks my heart.

Leaving our Friends and Family: I can't even start to go there. I started to think about it last night and was overwhelmed with emotion. I'm angry. But I don't know where to focus that anger. I'm hurt and broken. I know that I shouldn't feel this way in my head, that I'm being illogical and that I'll make new friends, but I don't want to listen to my head. My heart says I've reached my quota. I'm 30 and I have the most amazing friends and I shouldn't have to start over, and yet here I am.

I like to think I'm a very organized person. I'm also a planner. I like to know how things are going to go, so I work out the details beforehand. But my belongings are caught in a snow storm somewhere between here and Arkansas and my van won't get to our destination until we've been there a week. So here I sit, squatting at my parents house while my world is turned upside down.

"God is in control... God is in control..." I have this on repeat in my head as I rock back and forth in the fetal position...

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Help I Need Somebody.

Really feeling the love today... Too many friends and family members helping out to name, but their actions are more than greatly appreciated. From feeding us, to lending us stuff to sleep on, giving us rides, a home to hang out in and care packages for our kids... It is going to be excruciating to say goodbye.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Adventure time.

It's our last night in our home before we take off on our new adventure (or at least that's what everyone seems to be calling it). We've only been in this house for three years and yet it seems like we've been calling it our home for much longer than that. Laying here on the blowup mattress our friends & family so graciously lent us, it's hard not to think about all of the lives who've touched us in these three short years. Friendships were made that are irreplaceable. I keep replaying the "make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold" song from my Brownie days over and over in my head. These friendships are gold and no matter where we lay our heads at night, whether it be in Oregon or Arkansas... They will be lifelong.

I truly haven't had a chance to fully feel what is about to happen to our family, as I've been busy trying to one, keep our house spotless while my husband is bacheloring it up without us so we can sell it, and now, trying to keep calm as my entire home is packed into a semi truck. I'm playing the part of excited mother so my kids will enjoy their last moments with friends and family.

Looking around at the house we bought and made our own, I'm somewhat relieved that it didn't sell. We have found wonderful people to rent our home to while we are away and I feel God has put a sense of peace in my heart knowing that some day, when we want to return to Oregon, we will have a home to come back to... As well as friends with open arms.