Today is one of those days that I am NOT feeling inadequate as a mother. Things are good. Declan is napping... sure he pulled his 8 year old brother's night stand down on his face today, but I was there to pick him up, wipe away the tears and give him the confidence to explore once more. Lucy is watching Cinderella for the 9 millionth time, but she's happy and we painted today, something she LOVES. Tatum went to school with a giant smile on her face because she is start student of the week and ready to talk about herself in front of her entire classroom... Something we used to struggle with. Spencer left this morning with a pack of Pokemon cards, ready to trade on the bus ride home, cuz that kid has a ton of friends. Spencer and Tatum both gave me giant hugs and kisses on their way out the door this morning, secure in themselves and what awesome kids they are.
Today is a day of triumph. Tomorrow, I'm not sure... We will reassess then.
I'm sitting here thinking of all of the things I've done. I've endured a baby girl in the hospital for 10 days and made it out alive. I have 2 kids that read. I've successfully gotten 3 human beings to dispose of their waste in the proper receptacle, only one left. But for now, I'll be okay with him throwing his diaper away himself. That's awesome, am I wrong? I've made it through Spencer's terrible twos, night terrors, bad dreams, bullies, countless colds, bouts of pneumonia, flus, I don't know how many bouts of croup, sleepless nights, asthma attacks, vomit, spit up, snot... AND who knows how many more I'll have to endure. But today is a good day. And I am grateful.
You all may wonder why I am so full of myself today. Well, there are days that you sit and think, man I suck. And there are days that other people make you feel like you suck... Today is the latter. And the more I sit and think about it, the more I realize I DON'T suck. I've made the choices I have for my family because they were the best choices for us. And my kids are going to be better for them. Sure, I could have sacrificed everything I had in order to make their lives as easy as possible, but what good is that going to do them? They are strong, independent, happy, loving children because I DON'T do everything for them. And in 10 years, Spencer won't be struggling to go off to college because he is afraid, or because he doesn't know how to do laundry... Tatum will be confident in herself and know how beautiful she is on the inside and out without anyone having to tell her. Lucy will be the spirited individual that she is, knowing that it doesn't matter what other people say, she's awesome and her clothes don't match, but who cares? Declan will know it's okay to try and fail and try again. And that their father, their father in Heaven, and I will love them no matter what.
These are the things I want to instill in my kids. Is it hard? Yes. But I teach them every day because one day they will need to stand on their own two feet and walk forward on their own paths in this life without holding my hand. Will I be there to catch them fall? I hope so. But if not, they will still be able to pick themselves back up and try again.
And THAT is why I am waiting to put away the laundry until the kids are home from school... So they can do it themselves. :)